


Congratulations, We're Related

by kytaen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Gift Fic, Humor, Kageyama and Hinata still act like children, Oikawa likes to complain, Oneshot, dorks being dorks, just in case, rated T for mild swearing, sort of, the characters are all adults, this was fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 03:39:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5651197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kytaen/pseuds/kytaen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata discovers that he's soon to be related to Oikawa. Chaos ensues.</p><p>(In which Hinata Natsu gets married to Oikawa Takeru, and Oikawa Tooru is whiny as heck.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Congratulations, We're Related

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tobioskageyama](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tobioskageyama).



> This is for tobioskageyama(.tumblr.com) because I share my AU ideas with her and often, there's angst... (I try to dampen it down but some parts just aren't able to...) This is a (lame) attempt in writing a happier fic, just dorks being dorks and no angst involved. Unless you call Oikawa's complaints angst, perhaps to Oikawa, it's very angsty...
> 
> It came out longer than expected, but oh well, just count this as a poor attempt at a character study.

Sometimes, leaving Oikawa Tooru out of conversations and news is a good measure to take. After all, ignorance is bliss, and if the limit of how much Oikawa is aware of certain situations is not kept in check, Iwaizumi will find his own bliss shattered by the insistent whining on the other side of his mobile phone.

At first, he does not aim to pick it up; after all, it's not unlike Oikawa to call Iwaizumi during business hours, much to Iwaizumi's chagrin. But something bothers him when the flashing of the LED, an angry and urgent red, does not stop after three whole minutes.

Iwaizumi excuses himself and escapes into the hallway, and then to the outdoors. The blinding sun temporarily shocks his eyes, and it takes time to adjust to the lighting, and for the trees to stop looking like clouds rooted to the ground. Iwaizumi presses a tentative finger on the green button.

 And instantly regrets it.

 "Iwa-chan!" Oikawa pouts, his tone querulous and undoubtedly, somewhat ... _annoying_.

 "I'm at work, goodbye," Iwaizumi states, clean and precise. It deals a lot of damage to the recipient of the harsh farewell.

 "It's important!" Oikawa insists, grabbing onto the sliver of time between the conversation and Iwaizumi cutting it, and he strains his voice to make it seem stressed and genuine.

 What a bunch of lies, Iwaizumi thinks. The last time Oikawa interrupted his workflow, it'd been because Oikawa was worried his hair didn't "spring up" enough. Like he needed two or three more licks of hair, _get a mohawk if you're not satisfied, damnit!_

"What is it," Iwaizumi says, after a long pause of thoughtful debate between tapping the red button or leaving it be. It's better to let Oikawa voice his "important" matter before hanging up, he supposes.

"I'm..." A sniffle, then his voice cracks. "I'm going to be related to Chibi-channn...."

* * *

 "You WHAT?"

It had been a lovely day outside, the clear blue sky and the sweet chirping of birds outside his apartment giving him a small, mundane joy. Not that Hinata expected this idyllic atmosphere to last, with a storm constantly boiling inside, every single day.

 "It's not my fault!" Hinata squeaks, hands before him in a defensive stance. "Ask Natsu!" And true to his word, it had not been Hinata's fault. Ever since his sister had gone off to university, it was as if she'd gone into the far reaches of space: the siblings have not contacted each other in what felt like half a lifetime. And just out of the blue, a wedding invitation sent by email.

 "Your sister has a bad taste in guys," the man grumbles, as he hastily combs his unruly bed-hair into a reasonable mop, decent enough to pass his low standards.

 "Maybe I do too," Hinata mutters, hoping Kageyama wouldn't hear it. Apparently, bad luck has been on his heels ever since he woke up this morning. Kageyama throws the comb at the redhead's chest, and it clatters on the floor.

 "I can still leave, you know. If I do, you'll still be related to Oikawa-san, but I won't."

 Hinata catches Kageyama's arm in a tight, vise-like grip. "Don't you dare!"

 Kageyama shakes the clingy guy off, with several failed attempts. "Maybe I will, dumbass!"

 "Jerk!" Hinata launches back.

 Kageyama is ready with a few more choice obscenities. "Piece of shit!"

 "You turd!"

 "Idiot!"

 "B- just wait a second," Hinata pushes away Kageyama's hand, a clenched fist poised at Hinata's hair, and walks towards the doorway. "I'm getting this door first." Kageyama's hand seems to give up, falling limp at his sides, as he ambles casually to the door as well. Hinata unlocks the door, and swings it open, letting air waft through. And jumps into Tanaka's chest, with two outstretched arms.

 "Tanaka-san! We haven't seen you in so long!" The hug tightens. "How's it going?"

 The buzzcut smiles, scratching his head. "So you two _are_ \- "

 "Where's Ennoshita-san?" Hinata prods, picking up a pillow from the ground, left there because of their small bickering just a moment ago.

 "Slow down, little guy!" Tanaka's facial expression became blank, as he sighs in desolation, "Chikara said if I can't pay the rent, he'll kick me out."

 "If he kicks you out, you're welcome to live here," Hinata offers. Kageyama openly expresses his dissent with a muffled "dumbass!", as Hinata throws the pillow at his partner's face.

  _They're still acting like kids_ , Tanaka observes, with an amused dismay. "Don't worry, don't worry!" Tanaka waves it away. "I got fired just recently, but I'm sure I'll be able to find a new job!" His eyes sparkle with far-fetched hope. "Besides. Chikara's not throwing me out just _yet_."

 Hinata focuses one half of his mind on the hearty conversation between him and Tanaka, and the other half toward masking out the angry Kageyama noises accompanying said conversation."What about Noya-san?"

 "Oh, we meet up every weekend and feast ourselves on restaurant delicacies! Which he pays, mostly," Tanaka adds on hurriedly, not wanting any opportunity of misunderstandings to sprout. "Today he's been busy, so I decided to come over here and pay a visit to you guys! How's everything for you?"

 There is just the slightest bit of silence before Hinata grabs Tanaka's shirt with two shaking fists, eyes wide and frightened. Tanaka reels back at this sudden movement. "Ta-Tanaka-san..." He gulps down a breath of air. "We're - "

 " _I'm_ ," Kageyama corrects in the background, removing the pillow from his face.

 "Shut up! I'm... I'm going to be related to the Grand King..."

 Tanaka doesn't speak for a couple of seconds, then suddenly bursts into abrasive laughter. "It's not funny," Hinata and Kageyama protest, but the senpai does not stop.

 "Con...grat..ulations, you two," Tanaka cackles, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, while Hinata and Kageyama pout in a corner, crossing their arms.

 "But you know," Tanaka says, "I'm probably worse off than you are, considering I'm related to Tsukishima."

 Hinata gasps in surprise, and Kageyama's jaw falls slack. Neither of them expected _this_ sort of news to pop up.

 "You WHAT?" Kageyama utters for the second time this day.

 The two start exchanging whispers, glancing at a bewildered Tanaka every few seconds or so. "How in the world would Tanaka like that jerk?" Hinata says in a low voice.

 "How should I know?" Kageyama retorts. "Who in the right mind would."

 "What's even more puzzling is how the heck did Tsukishima agree to marry Tanaka-san?"

 "Maybe it was an arranged marriage."

 "Do they even have those in this century?"

 "Um, Tanaka-san," Kageyama turns his attention toward the older man, "I guess I should congratulate you?"

 "Yeah," Hinata decides, with a nod and a serious face, "whatever choices Tanaka-san makes is not up to us. Congratulations on the marriage."

 Tanaka's arm muscles tense, and his voice is loud when he objects, "No, no, you've got it all wrong!"

 "Really?" Hinata aims a befuddled stare at Tanaka.

 "Really! I'm - why would I marry him - what the - my sister! My sister, she married Akiteru-niisan, okay? Understand?"

 A moment of silence, then "Ohhhh... I get it now. So you're not married to Tsukishima?"

 "NO!"

 Kageyama shrugs. "See, I told you so, you dumbass."

 Hinata punches Kageyama on the shoulder, and the look Kageyama gives him is priceless. "You did not tell me anything!"

 "So," Tanaka says, after a breath through the nose, and after everyone in the room has calmed down, to a certain extent, "what's this about you being related to that pretty boy?"

 They're sitting on the carpet beside the couch. There are two pillows on the sofa, and a third one which Kageyama is busy wrangling to death. Hinata also has one, and he hugs it to his chest as he speaks.

 "My sister. Natsu. She's engaged to Oikawa's nephew."

 "Ah, that feisty little girl's getting married? Aww, that's lovely." Tanaka rubs at his eyes, as if tears were again flowing from them.

 "Tanaka-san, you barely know her, " Hinata deadpans. "And she's in her twenties, so she's not little anymore. Plus," Hinata grumbles, while Kageyama shoots the redhead a satisfied smirk, "she's taller than me. But only by a few millimetres!"

 "More like two centimetres, " Kageyama interjects, and gets a mouthful of pillow in punishment.

 Tanaka waves a finger around in disagreement." Whoa whoa whoa, I was Nacchan's best friend, you know!"

 "You came to my house, like, twice, Tanaka-san," Hinata says, dodging a foot kick. "And she was _unnaturally_ -"  he puts ample stress on the word, "- attached to Tobio-chan."

 "Don't call me that!" Kageyama yells.

 Hinata grins with a hint of malice. "Kageyama-kun, you _are_ six months younger than me."

 "You - "

 "What should I do, Tanaka-san?" Hinata's hoping that Tanaka-san, whom he looked up to, would give him an idea to work with. After all, Tanaka-san's always had amazing ideas.

 "I'm beat. Well, " Tanaka amends, after witnessing Hinata's disappointed countenance, "I mean, you can't really do anything about it, you know."

Crestfallen, Hinata stares at the corner of the room, squeezing the pillow in a similar,  death-inducing manner. "She invited us to her wedding. And it wouldn't be nice of me if her own brother doesn't attend, right?"

"Well, I guess so," Tanaka admits.

"She'll get mad at me if I don't go, right?"

"Err..."

"And if I don't bring Tobio-nii-chan there with me..." Hinata leans his head against the windowpane.

Tanaka pokes Kageyama on the side. "She actually calls you that?"

Kageyama flushes, and hides the heat in his cheeks by burying his head into his elbows. "Sort of... yeah."

"I think it's cute."

"No it's not." Kageyama is petulant, but discontinues his unsuccessful arguments.

"This is a nightmare," Hinata moans, and the warm air tickles the cool glass until it all but fogs up. Hinata raises a finger and doodles a tree, letting that take away all his concentration.

"If you think about it this way," Tanaka shifts closer to the brooding Hinata, "this could be a chance to beat the Grand King."

"Like how? With how well we dress or something?"

"No, more like brag about how wonderful your sister is. Something like that."

"Ooh," Hinata says, awestruck by the idea, but resumes his quiet, thoughtful session nearly a minute after his face had brightened up. "But I can't really do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I have no idea what Takeru is like. Maybe he could be amazing too. And then the Grand King will beat us again! Hey, Kageyama-kun." Hinata sits back up, rubbing the cheek he'd plastered on the glass. "You've seen Takeru before. How is he?"

Kageyama pauses to think. "Well, he's decent at volleyball, I suppose... to be expected of the Grand King's teachings..." In truth, Kageyama hasn't seen the nephew much, and the last time is around three years ago, by chance. "If he turns out to be the same as Oikawa-san, I'll be worried."

"Natsu wouldn't choose someone who acts like the Grand King." Hinata sounds confident in his acclaim.

"But then again," Tanaka interjects, "Nacchan has never been scared of anyone, even Kageyama, who easily scares little kids."

"What are you suggesting, Tanaka-san?" There is almost a threatening edge to Kageyama's voice, inlaid with steel.

"No, I didn't mean it in that way!" Tanaka is quick to defend himself. "Just that if Natsu's not afraid of anyone, and can handle so many different types of people, then whatever type of personality Takeru has, Natsu can deal with it."

"Hmm, you're right," Hinata says, then catches himself in the act. He quickly whips into denial. "No, Natsu wouldn't do that! I'm her brother, all right? I always trust her judgements. Except in the rare case of Kageyama, of course. I still don't know what Natsu saw in him."

"I'm right here, you know," Kageyama growls, and Hinata dodges yet another attack from Kageyama's foot.

"Can you imagine coming home to witness my sister asking where Tobio-nii-chan is? That's the first thing she says. As if I invite him to dinner all the time or something." Hinata's rambles were beginning to lose focus. "Though I guess that was a long time ago, but it hasn't changed, even now. Oh by the way, thanks for the advice, Tanaka-san. You should be a counselor, or something."

It's quite amazing how fast Hinata could change subject. Though considering how fast he actually was, at running or even doing chores, it's not so much of a surprise.

"Wahaha! Maybe I should," Tanaka starts, but not before he is cut off by Hinata.

"So, I guess we're going, Kageyama-kun." Hinata flicks Kageyama's fringe, and says, "You should get a haircut or something, before the wedding. You have to look good in front of all those people, you know."

A vein pops in Kageyama's forehead, and it isn't long before a pillow is launched into the back of Hinata's head.

"That's not fair," Hinata says, whacking Kageyama back. "Take that!" he crows, as the serious conversation is turned into a pillow fight in less than two seconds.

_I guess all kinds of families exist_ , Tanaka thinks, watching the whole scene with an overwhelming urge to join in.

* * *

 

"For crying out loud, you're going to the wedding!"

"I don't wanna." Oikawa shrinks into a ball of immovable will. Iwaizumi aims a foot at the wrinkles of Oikawa's shirt, on the side of his stomach, and Oikawa yelps.

"And you call yourself an uncle. Ridiculous."

"I don't wanna because Tobio-chan's there. And if Tobio-chan is partners with Chibi-chan that technically means I'm also related to Tobio-chan. And him being there will just remind me of the fact we're now related."

"Well, I'm there, too!" Iwaizumi attempts to coax the lazy form off the ground. He pats dust off Oikawa's suit and cuffs the back of Oikawa's head with a fine-tuned mildness. "Get up. You're going to shame the Oikawa name, looking like that."

Oikawa puts on a doubtful expression, one Iwaizumi has seen many times in his lifetime, lips in a pout and eyes crinkling in mock worry, asking for pity. "I don't care much about that."

"True," Iwaizumi turns his broad back to face the man still partially slumped near the base of the stairs, while adjusting his tie, "You've been shaming the name ever since you were born."

"You're so mean." Oikawa puffs his cheeks in indignity, but his fingers are subconsciously guiding buttons through the narrow slits.

"I really don't get why you still dislike Kageyama so much," Iwaizumi says, examining his outfit in the mirror. "It's been a long while since high school, you know."

"Don't you find him irritating?" Oikawa exclaims, straightening his own tie.

"I wouldn't mind having him in the family," Iwaizumi muses, continuing his train of thought.

Oikawa's hand flies dramatically to his chest. "Iwa-chan, why are you like this... I'm hurt..."

Iwaizumi hoists Oikawa up before he can faint from shock. "Let's go."

The sound of squabbling could still be heard for minutes onward, after the front door was locked.

* * *

 

Hinata and Kageyama can't see anything clearly behind the tears blurring their vision.

"You've grown so much," Hinata hiccups, and Kageyama nods beside him, keeping his sobs to a minimum volume. Hinata finds it hard to believe that years have passed since he last saw his sister. "And you look amazing."

And indeed she was; in fact, everyone invited to the wedding had showered her in compliments. Even Oikawa Tooru, the "I-don't-want-to-go" guest, was shocked, and this earned him a few sly smirks from Kageyama.

"Kageyama-san, it's nice to see you." Takeru approaches the sobbing two, and Kageyama takes back his earlier statement; Oikawa Takeru is _way_ more courteous than the Grand King, nothing like him. And nicer, too. Maybe even more handsome than his uncle, Kageyama would reckon, since he's never thought the elder Oikawa was very eye-catching to begin with.

"Same towards you," Kageyama replies, nearly stumbling on the words; even now, his social awkwardness manages to mess him up in the most unfortunate of situations.

Someone waves in the background, a tiny figure trying to catch attention by jumping up and down. Takeru's mouth sets into a straight line. "I think my uncle wants to talk to you," he says tiredly, and then scratches his neck. "Sorry about that."

"No worries," Kageyama sighs, while Hinata gives one of his usual chuckles, as he always does when something unfortunate comes upon Kageyama. In spite of this, Kageyama does not swat at Hinata's stupid curls of hair, and instead goes over to the beckoning (and anxious) Oikawa Tooru, with no expectations set aside for when they meet. Charging head in with no idea why Oikawa-san would call him (certainly not for a lively chat), Kageyama shuffles over with trained reluctance.

Oikawa crosses his arms and shoots Kageyama a sharp stare, upon his arrival.

"What's with the hostility, Oikawa-san?" Kageyama decides to try one of his rarely used tactics, one he usually reserved for Hinata's purposes only: jeering. "We're basically family now."

The bitter expression worn by the Grand King almost makes Kageyama laugh. "Since when did you become so sarcastic, Tobio-chan? And we're not family." 

Kageyama is slightly unnerved by the honorific Oikawa insists on using. "Oikawa-san, you know I'm an adult now."

"You're still a kid to me," Oikawa replies. Before Kageyama can make a successful comeback, Oikawa points a glaring finger at the younger man, and Kageyama flinches.

"Wh...what?" Kageyama asks, unaware of the perpetually dangerous situation he was in.

"Tobio-chan, listen up!" Oikawa's brows knit, and shadows guard his face, accentuating his cheekbones. If this were a scene out of a movie, a suspenseful theme played on violins and laid on a framework of double bass and drums would be surrounding this tense moment. "If you even lay a _finger_  on my precious nephew, you better say goodbye to your future."

Dangerous is an exaggerative word to describe Oikawa's antics.

"As if I want to," Kageyama retorts, not batting an eye at the poorly-concocted threat, and the imaginary theme music in Oikawa's head cuts off abruptly. "Now if you will, Oikawa-san, I'm going to get a bite to eat."

Oikawa lets out a superficial gasp, but by then, Kageyama has already made his way to the food table. "Did you hear that, Iwa-chan? Did you? Insulting Takeru, huh?" Oikawa shakes a fist towards Kageyama's general direction. "I'm going to make him pay someday."

"You better not pick fights, Trashikawa." Iwaizumi slips into Oikawa's frustrated aura and pushes the fist down. "This is a wedding, a formal occasion, after all."

"See what I mean by 'irritating'? He's so... so..." Oikawa's mind isn't clear enough to process his thoughts.

"That's only because you started it first."

"Iwa-chan, why?" Now it's Oikawa's turn to tear up; however, Iwaizumi isn't easily fooled. 

"Say what you want, but look over there." Iwaizumi points to the conversation currently being held by Hinata, out towards the gazebo. Kageyama has since returned from the table, carrying two plates laden with delicious food. Natsu is laughing, probably over a joke of some kind, and by the looks of it Takeru is sharing his experiences in volleyball with Kageyama. "They look like a family, don't they?" 

Oikawa doesn't want to admit the truth, but inside, he acknowledges that the picture the four painted, all smiles and laughter, did fit the description snugly. "I guess so," he mumbles.

"What do you say, Tooru." Oikawa is stricken by the sudden use of his first name; after all, Iwaizumi does not call him that often, only during special moments like New Years, or in a situation like now, for bribing purposes. "Since we're all related now, it would be customary to join them." Oikawa feels Iwaizumi's hand tug at his elbow, and his feet slowly being dragged.

"No, Iwa-chan, I don't wanna go," Oikawa complains, but Iwaizumi has none of it, as usual.

"Come on, Oikawa, you said you wanted to show Kageyama how awesome your nephew is, didn't you? Besides," Iwaizumi adds, "even if you're unhappy with how everything worked out, Takeru isn't. And neither am I." The words seem to shadow something else, but Iwaizumi doesn't give indication to what it might be.

Oikawa's shoulders unbunch, and for the first time today, his lips part into a smile, and it's genuine, for once.

"I guess so."

* * *

 

It should also be a given that leaving Oikawa Tooru out of family gatherings is a _very_ good idea.


End file.
